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What Kind of Submissive Slave are You?

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Orgasm Control
Are you devoted enough to suffer for me?

What makes you drop to your knees and relinquish control?  Are you only submissive when  you are horny then lose interest after an orgasm? Is the idea of submission only a sexual thing or do you feel there’s more to it?

 

 

These thoughts came to me after reading a forum post at Milovana ( click here to read it )

Someone posted asking questions on how to determine what kind of submissive they are & made reference to how they enjoyed serving, being devoted but found CBT ( cock and ball torture) and verbal humiliation to be a real turn off.  Someone else posted a link to a survey to help you decide your Submissive Type Test.

However my reply was this….

“I will give you my take of female domination & female led relationships. I don;t feel that labels and “types” could ever clearly define us. I also don’t think that anyone is dominant or submissive all the time. I am a true alpha female. Sexually I am wired only within femdom acts, me being in control and kinky femdom sex acts. But I also love being adored and have a very soft feminine side to me. I find it powerful while others want to believe it to be submissive.

My main “thing” is control. I believe that most women like me feel this way. Sure I have activities I enjoy more than others but the essence of desire is really all about the dynamic. If its not present then you can be the best ass kisser in the world and it won’t keep my attention. 

In order to gain control and form the bond, that which is OUR dynamic I investigate the things that seduces him and brings him to his knees (subjugation, relinquish control, become submissive) So really he can be into almost anything, or not yet and as long as I enjoy the activity I’m going to do it better than anyone BECAUSE I want to own him mind, body and soul. I want to feel the depth of emotion he has only for me. No other woman could ever walk on this planet and enrapture as I will/do. This is why my personal relationships last for years. I have phone/online slaves I’ve had for years. Sometimes I might not hear from them a few months but they always come back. 

So if one of my friends asked “What type of slave is he?” My reply would be “A devoted slave.” It’s all that really matters.

A lot of men call me and they just don’t have the language or words to articulate their fantasies. They get an inexperienced phone mistress on the line and they tell them that they have on panties. She immediately assumes he’s a sissy, into strap-on’s or sucking cock. She starts to humiliate him with all the wrong words. He gets turned off, frustrated and stays completely in the closet. I see it all the time. 

My point is that all relationships are different. What I do with Tom might be 5 times more hardcore then what I do with Harry, however the level of devotion are equal and I enjoy both of them. I might have a weekend where only Tom will do. We all have moods. Most of us are constantly evolving and changing.”

I think its a fascinating topic and I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this.  Go ahead and take the test above and share your results in comments below.  If you make a comment, even a hello and click subscribe to this topic it will email you each time someone replies. Of course you can also subscribe to my entire blog for new blog post.


 



Recent Comments

29 Comments

Eddie Fetherman On August 19, 2014 | Reply

Nice blog post, Mistress.
The test was interesting, my results:
You scored 53% Humiliation, 50% Submissiveness, 77% Service, and 4% Pain!

You’re the Servant, what you seek most is to serve someone, give them the opportunity to live like kings/queens. You’d like to be able to do everything for them, household maintenance, errands and probably serve them sexually, you don’t have too much high of a need to feel submissive, you don’t need to feel like you’re “used”, you just enjoy in the pleasure of your Dom.
People like you usually seek long term relationships in which you can fully show the way you serve your Dom, although being allowed to come over to your Dom’s house to fix dinner and clean the house would probably put a smile on your face.
Your association with pain or humiliation can be from none to wholesome, you may find it fun, or not, just check out your scores in those 🙂

    Natalie On August 19, 2014 | Reply

    How nice to see you again Eddie! Thank you for stopping in and posting/

    Have you ever had a successful relationship that included these needs?

Philo On August 19, 2014 | Reply

Slave
You scored 27% Humiliation, 79% Submissiveness, 92% Service, and 54% Pain!

You’re the slave, you scored high in both submissiveness and service, you probably want to be owned by someone, you feel the need to relinquish your power over to someone else and to service her. You are the ideal partner for 24/7 Owner/slave relationships, whether you like or deslike pain is a matter of taste, hence with humiliation, but I would bet that the chances are you enjoy them sometimes but the most important thing is whether your Domme will enjoy doing those things to you.

I think it is fairly accurate for me. The sexual side is nice but to serve is better.
I think most things can be a turn on, if it is to please your Domme.
But even if it isn’t just to know it brings her pleasure is enough.

    Natalie On August 19, 2014 | Reply

    wow impressive! But I sort of knew that about you 🙂

      philo On August 20, 2014 | Reply

      I would love to do it for real, online via email or webteases are fun, but ultimately they are more about my pleasure.
      to relax in the evening kneeling by my Mistresses chair, just waiting to serve in any way she wants, whether it is intense erotic play, preparing her favourite drink just the way she likes it or just providing somewhere comfortable for her to rest her feet (if I am ready lucky being allowed to give her a foot massage). That would be so lovely.

        Natalie On August 20, 2014 | Reply

        Trust me that reality requires more balance. As you know I have real time lifestyle femdom relationships. It’s hard to get the right balance between our day to day and then our kinky dynamic. It’s easier for me because I don’t have to report to a boss or anyone. I can work at online and phone sex which I love then have my slaves fluttering about. I really don’t ever have to step out of my world.

          Phil On August 21, 2014 |

          Yes 24/7 is probably going too far, I would still want to work and have time that was mine.
          But to be allowed periods of time where you can be 100% about pleasing her, handing over complete control.
          I guess it is still a bit selfish, it is after all fulfilling my need to serve. There would have to be a lot of trust involved that she would not abuse it, to be able give up full control.

          Natalie On August 21, 2014 |

          Honestly Phil I have slaves that are 24/7 but they also have lives outside of our relationship. They just need to answer to me on certain things. For instance if they go out with friends for drinks they shoot me a text asking permission. Some I have on strict diets and budgets. Then I have some where the rules are very casual unless we are engaging in a round of heavy control. Lets me give you an example of that…

          They belong to me. They can’t have an orgasm without my permission, however they go about their day normally. Then I can sense and feel that they need an attitude adjustment. I make them join my 30 day program (yes they pay like everyone else) and the reins are tightened for that period. They are accountable every day. They might need this every few months.

kenny On August 19, 2014 | Reply

Thank You, Goddess Natalie, for yet another wonderfully written and inspiring post.

Since my earliest school memories i have always wanted to please Women, to somehow make their lives easier, more enjoyable. That deep desire — and now life commitment — has only deepened and grown over the past 20 years of adulthood. Serving itself is a great reward for me, and it it only intensifies with humiliation and chastity. The more pleasure and happiness that Women experience, the better. And if i am somehow degraded in the process, ideal (for me) — but if the Woman does not enjoy degrading me, then it is really not very fun.

Thank You, Goddess!

    Natalie On August 19, 2014 | Reply

    I totally get that. It’s the same for me. I love love intense humiliation and foot worship but if the slave isn’t hard and drippy over it then its not the same. I can make any man wait on me hand and foot but its all in the attitude and how they are when they are doing it? Know what I mean? I want a guy that grovels because he adores me and not because he is trying to fuck me.

      kenny On August 20, 2014 | Reply

      Thank You, Goddess, for Your reply. i fully understand Your reflections on attitude; and it is hard to imagine someone not adoring You. i only know You (just a bit) from Your writings, and You inspire adoration quite quickly and deeply. Thank You!

Staman On August 20, 2014 | Reply

OkCupid??? Ummm how about “yes, mistress Natalie” instead?!?!

max On August 20, 2014 | Reply

Hello all,
i got Slave, 30% Humiliation, 86% submissiviness, 88% service and 38% pain.

Kind of an accurate discription.

Thank You Goddess for sharing this. 🙂

max

    Natalie On August 20, 2014 | Reply

    You’re very welcome. So how would YOU define yourself? Service slave?

      max On August 21, 2014 | Reply

      Yes Goddess, service slave would be the definition for me. i am married in a vanilla relationship and haven’t had a relationship with a dominant Lady. All my fantasies include me serving a Lady someway. Her happiness is the key and opportunity to be somekind of help would be my pleasure. i have a huge fetish on female feet and would love to touch pretty feet, feel the lovely scent in my nose, but only if She would like it and allow me to be so near. Now i just try to be as helpful as i can even if my wife doesn’t want to take full control.

      Thank You for Your reply 🙂

      max

        Natalie On August 21, 2014 | Reply

        Was it difficult having a personal relationship while being married? I have a few married slaves. I’m just curious. Have we talked on the phone before? You sound like someone I have talked to. Then again it seems like foot boys are the easiest to control once you get inside their head.

          max On August 21, 2014 |

          i am sorry Goddess if i mislead You to misunderstanding. English is not my native, so there might be some foul translations. But i tried to say that i have not had any other relationships than my wife. However my submissive side is pushing up so hard, that every week i desire it more and more.
          We have not talked. i have only heard Your wonderful voice written down at my computer screen. i belive it must be awsome like Your looks are. You are beauty, the description to the word can be found from Your looks. i have been scrolling around this page now for more than two hours and i am getting quite facinated…

          Natalie On August 21, 2014 |

          I see. Thank you for clarifying that.

          I’ve been meaning to write about married men exploring submission. On one hand I want to support women and enforce fidelity, however I also know that many men can’t bridge that sexual gap. I’ve even seen divorce and relationships ruined because someone was honest about their sexual fantasies. I’ve come to understand that sometimes you have to balance grey areas. Therefore my conclusion is that the married men I see, IF they follow my rules and remain steady under my control, that their marriages actually become enriched. They are happier, more fulfilled and are taught ways to make their wives happy. Its a win win, for sure.

          We may have to change that one day… talking. I’d love to talk to you.

Paul On August 21, 2014 | Reply

Thank you Mistress for the fascinating post and interesting test. I think it’s pretty accurate for me except the pain score is a bit high. It is awesome to be able to bring pleasure to a woman.

You scored 30% Humiliation, 71% Submissiveness, 96% Service, and 31% Pain!

You’re the slave, you scored high in both submissiveness and service, you probably want to be owned by someone, you feel the need to relinquish your power over to someone else and to service him. You are the ideal partner for 24/7 Owner/slave relationships, whether you like or deslike pain is a matter of taste, hence with humiliation, but I would bet that the chances are you enjoy them sometimes but the most important thing is whether your Dom will enjoy doing those thigns to you.

    Natalie On August 21, 2014 | Reply

    You sound perfect for me lol

    I always tell people that unless you truly open your mind to erotic humiliation and “get it” then you couldn’t possibly understand. I say take the challenge for 30 days or even one week (my 7-10 day) and ride it hard. You never know what you might find.

      Paul On August 23, 2014 | Reply

      Thank you Goddess Natalie for your kind comments on my post. I can only wish to be perfect for you! I would LOVE to do either a 30 or 10 day challenge with you. Unfortunately my life situation is undergoing some significant change and I can’t at this time. I hope you will still be offering the challenges when I’ve gotten a better handle on the new situation.

        Natalie On August 23, 2014 | Reply

        Perhaps one day you will. In the meantime you can support me with comments and maybe have your hand at writing.

Jan On September 24, 2014 | Reply

A very interesting blog, thank you for writing it Mistress.

My test results as follows;

You scored 20% Humiliation, 71% Submissiveness, 85% Service, and 38% Pain!

You’re the slave, you scored high in both submissiveness and service, you probably want to be owned by someone, you feel the need to relinquish your power over to someone else and to service him. You are the ideal partner for 24/7 Owner/slave relationships, whether you like or dislike pain is a matter of taste, hence with humiliation, but I would bet that the chances are you enjoy them sometimes but the most important thing is whether your Dom will enjoy doing those things to you.
Good luck in finding your best relationship 🙂

In the past 14 months, I have had three experiences of submission, the last one lasted approximately 5 months, and I considered it a proper D/s relationship, and I truly understood my submissiveness by the end of it.

Now think I understand what submission is about for me, I enjoy being given tasks to complete, what ever it may be, to be rewarded with a nice compliment is so uplifting for me.

I’ve always thought that being controlled, given direction and guidance would make me a better person, and what better person to do that, than a Dominant lady.

Hopefully someday I can have that pleasure again.

    Natalie On September 24, 2014 | Reply

    Thank you for sharing. I’ll write again when I have more time. I hope you do find that special relationship.

    If you could describe it, with all details, what would it be?

      Jan On September 25, 2014 | Reply

      Thank you for your reply Mistress

      A total 24/7 power exchange, Dominant/submissive relationship with an element of fun, one where I am completely at my Mistress/Wife/Girlfriends beck and call, to run her errands, she wouldn’t have to bark orders at me, just give me the look, I’d have to ask permission to do most things, and if I’m told I can’t do something, that’s the end of it.

      It would be my aim in life to love and honour, serve and obey, care and worship her, there wouldn’t be anything I wouldn’t do for her, within my limits and boundaries, pushing the them would be an integral part of this life.

      If I misbehave, a punishment maybe be in order, I would seek after care if the punishment was pain based.

      If there is something I really wanted to do, like go to the pub for the evening, go to the movies or watch a tv show, I would have to earn that pleasure.

      If we where out for a meal, shopping or the movies, she would have me act like the typical male, but would always give me the money in a humiliating way, even mentioning that I wasn’t allowed money to the cashier, who knows what kind of response that might provoke.

      If it was a fetish event, I would have to stay by her side, even ask for permission to talk to other.

      If we where stood at a party/pub or event, she could keep her finger wrapped around the belt loop of my pants, so if I tried to wander off, she could pull me back, subtle control, but control none the less.

      She can play with me and humiliate me as much as she wants in the private, in public I’m sure she wouldn’t have much trouble making me blush, but I would prefer it a little more subtle.

      One day it might become reality

        Natalie On September 26, 2014 | Reply

        it sounds like the RT relationships I have now. The only difference is I decide everything. This includes IF I choose to humiliate in public. Chances are that I won’t but I need unquestioned submission.

          Jan On September 27, 2014 |

          Thank you for your reply Mistress

          I am very new to the role of submission, having only engaged in it for the past 9 months, I can only hope that the further I go, the easier it will get to submit without question.

          Natalie On September 27, 2014 |

          Good for you. I hope that you have loving and fulfilling relationships. Thank you for coming to my blog and I hope you comment more often.

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