dominant mistress

Can You Truly Give Up Sexual Control?

| | | Comments 2

female domination

I admit that I often grow tired of the selfishness of men. Countless men come to me begging for me to control them. They have a perceived fantasy that makes their cock hard and to be honest it clouds their thinking. You can have the fantasy of giving up control, however are you really relinquishing it?

What are you afraid of?

That you’ll like it too much? Or afraid that it will change or alter your already existing life? If your life was so perfect and you were happy then you wouldn’t have such a strong need to give up control to a dominant goddess, would you? Or is this just kinky fodder for masturbation which is why so many of you completely lose interest after orgasm?

The reality is you cheat yourself. You keep going around and around in the same damn circle wondering why you never completely get what you need. The whole dynamic requires you to subjugate mind, body and soul. To truly become vested in MY pleasure. You seem to forget it’s a two way street and that I have the need to control. You deny me this when you don’t follow instructions. You rob me of erotic pleasure when you make choices that contradict our commitment. Imagine how powerful our connection would be IF you fully complied? The again that is probably where your fear is. Is having an orgasm, those few seconds of release truly worth forfeiting the the whole thing? A chance to feel the totality of being owned, explosive orgasms and  someone owning your cock?

Below is an essay assignment I issued to a young man who entered my 7-10 days of control. The panty assignment is not because I think he’s a sissy and it wasn’t even about humiliation for me as much as control. I needed to know that he would do his for me and that the panties would be a constant reminder that his cock belonged to me. I’d love to hear your comments below.

Goddess Natalie has asked me to write about the nature of punishment. This task is a  punishment for not fulfilling one of her commands. So, she hasn’t ‘asked’ me to do this, she has commanded me. She has commanded me to think about and write about punishment in relation to obeying and disobeying her commands. Slave J

 

            “The difference between she ‘asked’ me and she ‘commanded’ me serves as a good frame. I believe that my punishment is the result of my vacillation here, where I imagined that she had only ‘asked’ me to do something, only recommended a certain action—there’s no reason not to be concrete: I was supposed to wear panties for her last night and I didn’t.

The whole time that I was not wearing them up until the time when I told her that I had not worn them, I refused to feel like I was disobeying (or, even worse, I figured there was no harm in disobeying). I said to myself: “This is only a recommendation.”

I allowed myself to disobey by intentionally misreading her command as a simple question. I left it open, the command. I unsealed it, I imagined she would only want me to obey under the right circumstances. The truth is, last night, I went out and stayed out and never looked back, and thought Goddess Natalie would understand that ‘my life’ got in the way of her command. Certainly, I thought, Goddess Natalie allows me to leave her commands up to the ‘chance’ of my own life. This is exactly why I deserve to be punished and why I am taking my punishment very seriously.

Goddess Natalie’s control cannot be left to chance or to any vacillation on my part. To create the total effect it must be total. It must be clear to me that she is commanding, not asking. It is my responsibility to turn her requests into commands—I must convert them into action.  The control, the total control, comes at the point where there is no hesitation between the command and its fulfillment. Immediately, I must know that Goddess Natalie’s control demands that I do whatever she wishes. And it is because I lost this knowledge last night that I deserve to be punished. In fact, the punishment recharges, accentuates, and reaffirms this knowledge—the punishment forces me to clarify my obedience to Goddess Natalie.

Think about it this way: if I always, from the start, obeyed Goddess Natalie without any hesitation, if I had never brought my own ‘chance’ into the equation, there would be no punishment. The punishment is the painful reminder that Goddess Natalie is not simply asking things of me, she is commanding them. By accepting her punishment I also affirm my willingness, my desire to be commanded.

Her punishment reminds me of the power of her command. This power also evokes the reward of obedience. It is because Goddess Natalie is undeniably capable of rewarding in the most inconceivably splendid way that her commands are so powerful. I have to be very careful though, when it comes to the vision of this reward. The reward can make me think I have some control—because I want it so badly. But, to receive the reward, I have to obey, I have to give up all control. In this sense, I have to give up wanting the reward. I have to see obedience as its own reward. When I do not do this, when I disobey, because I have conjured up my own ‘reward system’ outside of Goddess Natalie’s, because I have sought reward at my pace and not hers, I deserve to be punished—no, I need, I want to be punished. I want to be placed back within the terrifying bliss and anticipation of obedience to Goddess Natalie. In obeying her punishments, this punishment, she has given me the ultimate reward: she has instilled deeper more profound obedience.  She has been kind enough to remind me what I should never have needed to be reminded: that Goddess Natalie’s control is divine.”

 

Subscribe by email for updates.


 



Recent Comments

2 Comments

enzo On November 27, 2013 | Reply

First, I’m slightly shocked by his grammar and style. It is not the web-stained dribble that passes for English on most online interactions. Kudos to him, or you for requiring it. Second, it is surprisingly deep and self-reflective. I can empathesize with the temptation to see room for interpretation in a dominant’s instructions, but it’s not something I’ve ever been able to articulate before. I am grateful for having read it. Thank you for sharing!

Peter On June 16, 2014 | Reply

I know what you are talking about. In my early 20’s when I started to discover my submissive side I cheated a lot. I submitted to different online Mistresses, and only followed to instructions I liked, and cummed daily even though I wasn’t allowed. The idea always turned me on so much … well and as a young boy I didn’t know any better than to start stroking and give myself an orgasm.

I loved pretending she was in control of my orgasms, but as soon as the desire to cum was strong, I took care of it and lied about it. The orgasms felt great, but the submissive in me went on unfulfilled.

It wasn’t until a few years later, when I met a special Lady that made something click inside me. We chatted for two hours, and she had me stroking my cock for her, and she found the right words in the end, and that time I didn’t cheat and really pulled up my pants and waited for the next day.

Even though I was freaking horny, and very frustrated not finishing with an orgasm, something inside me felt warm and good. The sub in me felt satisfied, good, warm, having overwritten my own the desire to cum to submit to her wishes. It felt overwhelmingly good, and my brain clicked and decided I would follow all her commands without cheating this time.

This was my first really good experience as a sub, and I knew from then on this is how I wanted to feel. This is what I had to do to feel fulfilled as a sub. It took me a few years to figure that out, and I guess each submissive has to discover this on his own way. 🙂

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.